The following is a detailed set of instructions on how to receive free meals at low, to moderately priced dining establishments:
1) Plan a trip abroad for an extended period of time
2) Tell all your closest friends and family about the trip
3) Set up a bunch of 'goodbye' meals with said friends and family
I'm serious, guys. It works.
On Tuesday afternoon, Dave refused to let me pay for lunch. It was the same story with Vince yesterday afternoon, and with Allison, Dan, Jamie, and Christine yesterday evening. (Disclaimer: The above stated individuals are not necessarily a full and exhaustive list of people who have paid for my meals in the past. If I left you out, please accept my apologies.)
All of this generosity has been greatly appreciated, and it really just reinforces what I already knew--that I have a damn good group of friends. But, nevertheless, I do feel a bit guilty. (After all, I'm the one getting out of Jersey before the Benny's hit the shore. You guys are stuck.)
Last night, we all met up for drinks at the Jester after dinner, and I was asked by someone if I still have a lot to do before I leave. Well, I do. I still have lot's of loose ends to tie up in the next day and half. But there are two main chores that top my list.
First, I still have to buy some Barbie Dolls for my new sisters. After much deliberation as to what color Barbies to buy, I've decided to go with blond hair and blue eyes. What the heck. I am American, right? I may as well provide them with the typical American stereotype.
And, as for the second errand--when I've said my goodbyes over the past week, this is the line I've been getting most often: "Have a great trip, be safe, and don't forget to bring your own condoms."
Apparently, the quality standards down there aren't necessarily up to snuff (conversely, I'm sure the diseases down there aren't any less forgiving.)
So, in a nutshell, that's my agenda for today.
Barbie Dolls and condoms.
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No Barbies!!! Little hispanic girls love american candy and chocolate!!! Take it from me!!! I almost fainted when I visited a candy store in the US for the first time at the age of ten! :)
ReplyDeleteI hope that you buy the condoms and barbies at the same time from somehwere like walmart. Be sure to get the condoms (obviously a lot) first, then ask for assistance in selecting a barbie whilst your hands are full of condoms of course! Then opt to NOT use the self checkout and choose the youngest looking female hispanic check out person (this shouldn't be too hard, its walmart in freehold for gods sake) and when you get a weird look from the girl... ask her if she was a 6 year old would she like what you've selected? You might have the cops waiting for you outside but it would be rather funny.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I'm not on the east coast, my meager med student salary (read in debt) would have made taking you out to dinner a costly endeavor (not to mention the poor company I would have had to keep).
ReplyDeleteThanks for the mention, Had I known I was making the blog for merely taking you out to lunch, I might have cooked you a gourmet dinner and had you stay for a romantic movie. Just to make sure you come back from your exciting trip to meet 6 year old twin girls with Barbies & condoms.
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