One week

Lift-off is a week away, and everyone keeps asking me the same question. "Are you ready?"

Well, the honest answer?

[Ear muffs] "Fuck, no."

There's a boatload of crap I need to get done before I leave. There are lot's of last minute purchases I need to make, and I also have a few administrative details to take care of (i.e. signing the promissory notes on my school loans, and canceling some recurring subscriptions to a few choice websites.)

Two of the items I was planning on purchasing this week were a Spanish phrase book, and a journal to write in for when I don't have internet access. Last night, Jeremy threw me a farewell BBQ. When I showed up, his girlfriend, Meredith, handed me two wrapped gifts. Can you guess what they were?

I was flipping through the phrase book last night, and it looks like it'll come in mighty handy on my journey.

From Chapter 4, "Making New Friends," I learned that if I see a girl sitting alone in a cafe, it might be appropriate to point to the empty chair beside her and say, "Me permite?" May I?

Now, understandably, she may want to know a bit about me, first. She might pull out this line from Chapter 5, 'Describing Things':

"Es grande?" Is it big?

To which I would naturally reply, "No, no es muy grande," to assuage her fears. No, it's not very big.

If I'm talking to a man on the bus, I might use this line from Chapter 7, 'Making Small Talk':

"Cuantos anos tiene su hija?" How old is your daughter?

When he angrily tells me she's fifteen, I might follow with another line from Chapter 7. "Es una problema?" Is that a problem?

But my favorite lines are from Chapter 6, 'Shop 'Til You Drop.' If I take a prostitute shopping, a la Richard Gere in "Pretty Woman," I might ask her, "Le quedo bien?" Did it fit?

And she may very well answer, "Me queda grande." Literal translation: It fits me large.

Well, as we all know, there is only one response when someone speaks the words, "It fits me large."

"Eso es lo que ella dijo."

Translation: That's what she said.